bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
