Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need help removing her.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
