I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
