All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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