My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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