I wish I could teleport
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hippo gnu deer
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
