Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he was CRYING into my vagina
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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