brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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