We need to rekindle our bromance
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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