he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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