you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
