let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
