his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
