We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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