My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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