okay pat passed out under dana's car
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
