He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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