Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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