; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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