I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
