Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
is it fun? or sober?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
