I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
