I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
