So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
