Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
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just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize