haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
