I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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