She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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