**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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