it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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