dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
