dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she peed on how many people?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
