i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
