If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
