he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
