I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
