So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
