Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry about my life...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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