Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize