he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
