The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
