naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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