i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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