Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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