shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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