Farmville is her only friend.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
