i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
