I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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