what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
