what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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