Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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