I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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