drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
