Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i've created a new STD.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
tell me about the eggs
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
