I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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