Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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